Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
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now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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