I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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