Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
