I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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