I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
