Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
