too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
