Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize