I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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