Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
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If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
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Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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