Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
