So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
