jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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