Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
did i walk over a car last night?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
