[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
