You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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