This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
