He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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