i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize