bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
