Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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