Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
