I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
