please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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