More tranny stories later!
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
