I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
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It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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