he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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