When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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