Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
