"it" just moved
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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