If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
