i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
