Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
