ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
