i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
