I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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