I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
