rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
