Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
