I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
