You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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