guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
