My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
