I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So squirting runs in the family.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
