C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
