I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
COCAINE IS GR8
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
