So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
