I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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