I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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