apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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