What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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