the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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