I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
and she was petting her beer can
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she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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