nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
