me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
