Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
