'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
