I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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