On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
