I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
