dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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