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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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