in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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